Childhood Memories….

I think I have mentioned once or twice about being an open book…if not well I am, so bare with me.  This year was the first time in about 12 years that I went home to Michigan for Christmas.  I was home for few days when I was pregnant with the twins but somehow going home this time of year is always exciting, nerve-racking, and overwhelmingly sad.  I come from a large blended and beautiful family so that means there are a lot of people to see. Mix five kids with freezing weather and Im pretty much sick just thinking about getting in and out of the car. In the end we generally make the rounds with little drama (notice I said little).

I think one of the hardest parts for me is going to a place that I lived for 18 years with my parents and five  siblings, where I made all of my childhood memories, a place that really shaped who I am as a person (good or bad) but having to do it all soo differently.  My brothers have families of their own, people they have to see, places they have to go. Then there are the people that aren’t there because they couldn’t make it…its just not ever what you remember.   Our childhood traditions  are no longer and we are not each others priorities.

When I go home I still have this need for things to be just like they were when I was little. We made our rounds as a family on Christmas Eve, my parents stayed up until wee hours of the morning wrapping the gifts they bought for us, and us kids all went to bed with the worst/best excitement in our stomach we couldn’t even take it. We woke up at 3am to open gifts and our parents never once told us it was too early.  The sight of the family room is forever burned in my mind.  Presents from wall to wall and what seemed like floor to ceiling at the time.  It was our “thing” it was what we did for the 16 years my parents and family were still together.   These were the best memories ever, and as a kid you think will happen every year until you are 100. But divorce or no divorce they don’t last forever…that’s kind of my point. We all grew up and have lives of our own. Am I the only person who is happy to grow up and have my own family but so sad to leave the family and security of that family I had when I was young? I guess change makes me super uncomfortable and when I go home it brings it all to the forefront.  All of our lives have changed, our relationships with each other have changed, our priorities have changed, and we all need each other a little less.  We all became adults, adults with opinions, different points of views, and rules.  No longer do I throw up my fists to the crowd and side with my brother because he’s all I know to be the truth. No longer do I stay up later than I am allowed to with my sisters spying on my parents movies they are watching. I now take my own stand, fight my own battles, and follow my own family in their journey to make our memories.  I guess in the end it’s all just a cycle. A cycles of good, bad, sacred, scary, beautiful and cherished memories. Time to move forward and make my own.

Which is just what we did!! We explored Michigan together, we laughed together, we had firsts together, and we even mended old wounds together.

I’m learning that now I can make new memories and traditions with my kids and husband and also   my siblings and parents. These can be the new memories that I look back on and that warm my heart and these can be the new traditions that last as longs as we want them too.

Heres to growing up and making new memories this year and next!! Happy New Year!!!

 

My brother Josh and his family   My brother Josh and his family My elementary school   My elementary school My first home   My first home

The next few cuz you can't decide and you like the funny ones....  The next few cuz you can’t decide and you like the funny ones….

All the cousins...one little one missing but growing safely in my sisters tummy. ❤️  All the cousins…one little one missing but growing safely in my sisters tummy. ❤️ My godfather My godfather “Papa pronounced Pupu”. 96 and the most giving loving man you will ever meet.

3 Comments

  1. Care December 31, 2015

    Love this! Didn’t realize you had a blog- just superb! You are such a great mom, love the photos.. You make darling off spring ?


  2. Cheryl Prichard December 31, 2015

    I’m so glad you got to go back home…that is where everything begins, then transforms, and ends. We live in the present, learn from the past, and look toward the future. You, Charley, and your (precious gifts from God) will give anyone a busy life filled with hopes, dreams, disappointments, and achievements. You are doing a wonderful job in this crazy world! Keep on loving your man each day, giving love to those 5 gifts, and let your Light continue to shine bright. You are a blessing to those around you. Happy New Year!


  3. Teri January 1, 2016

    Oh I so loved this post and so related to it looking back. It made me cry for what life is. I’m sure you know you are dearly loved by all your family everywhere. And my your Arizona family just as much. How glad we are that you got to go home and have this experience and reconnection with loved ones and places and childhood identity but how very sorely you were missed! Can’t wait for you to come back to your other "home"!!! Love you all so much!!?⛄️????????


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